How to Become More Selfless

What does it mean to be selfless? What is selflessness? There are a lot of words that can be used to describe selflessness. Starting with compassion and love, understanding. Those words are what fill us up on the inside as human beings. It is what we crave, whether we are aware of it or not. As humans, most of us crave acceptance. We go out of the way to make others notice us. Wearing certain clothing, wearing our hair a certain way, or even talking a certain way. All those things are visible to the eye but with selflessness, it’s not what we can see when we walk by each other on the streets or in the hallway it’s an energy, it is a way someone carries themselves and the way people behave around them.

How does one become selfless? That is easy to explain. Start by giving more and stop judging people. Get out from all the negative thoughts and start reflecting more on what’s around you and the people around you. When we were children we all heard the saying ” Treat others the way you would like to be treated.” That saying was always said to be the golden rule. That statement is still true today whether you’re a child or an adult. It also goes hand in hand with a man named George Rutler who is said to believe selflessness can go a long way in helping to make people feel important and worthy. Let us break that saying down a little bit. No one likes to get bullied and made to feel bad about who they are but on the other hand that is exactly what people do to others. Why do people do this? It is because they think it will make them feel better about themselves. That way of thinking is self-sabotaging. That thought is a myth. The only way to feel good about yourself is by raising others. Stand up for the people that do not have the strength to stand up for themselves. Being a protector is something that we pride ourselves on. No one feels pride by belittling others.

We covered loving one another and we touched on being less judgmental. Also being a protector to others. We even went over the “golden rule,” and what Rutler believes in. Now doing all these things is considered selflessness but there is one more thing that makes the person selfless. It is the mindset. It is easy to say to someone just go do these things but if someone is not in the right mindset then their actions will falter. The mind controls one’s actions. It controls their follow-through. George Rutler knows that these things are not done overnight because being selfless is not just an act but is a way someone lives their life. It is a lifestyle and a commitment that one makes. It is a conscious decision that is made in one’s mind.


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Pamela is a television journalist, humor writer and novelist. Her first novel, Allegedly, was released in 2015 by St. Martin’s Press. The book is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. She and her husband, Daniel, have a 3-year-old son, Carter.

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