Massachusetts News 

Related: $25 & Free 'Weekend Retreat' For Teenage Boys 

November 1--MassNews: What is the Young Men’s Health Project? 

Sterling Stowell: It was a program for young men of BAGLY. We have others for the Young women of BAGLY. The program was designed to create a place where young men could talk about HIV, sex and sexuality and STDs, so that we could get them accurate information and basically help in terms of prevention. 

MassNews: It is clear from your website and from this pamphlet titled "For Gay and Bi Boys Only" that BAGLY is not simply about HIV prevention, is that correct? 

Sterling Stowell: In fact that is not half of what we are about. BAGLY was founded before AIDS. We’re 20 years old next year. Our primary mission is to provide social support, programs for GLBTY and straight allies age 22 and under. 

BAGLY is social support, it’s discussion, it’s parties, it’s events, but when the AIDS epidemic came along we recognized that it is our young people that could be at risk – especially the young men that were having unsafe sex with other men. So we started to focus on prevention. We also started programs to increase self-esteem so that men would care about themselves enough to make good choices. Maybe they would choose not to have sex. If they did have sex, to make sure that they were doing so more safely. HIV prevention is an important part of what we do, but it is not the primary thing that we do. But that is why we started the Young Men’s Health Project, and it worked fairly well. We may repeat it. It may come back in another form. 

MassNews: For BAGLY and for this event advertised in this pamphlet, is there an age limit at all? 

Sterling Stowell: This event – The Young Men’s Health Project was done in conjunction with another organization that went up to 25, so we included that age range for that event, although no one over twenty-two attended. BAGLY is for ages 22 and under. 

MassNews: Is there a lower age limit?  

Sterling Stowell: Not officially. We don’t get people much younger than high school age. It would be unusual for us to have anyone younger than 14.  

MassNews: If you have someone who is, say 14, is there parental consent involved in joining a BAGLY program? 

Sterling Stowell: I would have to say yes and no. You need a permission slip for field trips and transportation, but not to attend the meetings because we don’t provide any professional services. It’s more like a church group, so you don’t need parental permission.  

MassNews: The lakeside weekend retreat in New Hampshire April 16-18th that is advertised with the Young Men’s Health Project – would a permission slip have been required for that?  

Sterling Stowell: That was not a BAGLY event. I believe there was an AIDS service organization in New Hampshire that sponsored that. Some of our youth went to that and the ones who were under 18 would have had to get parental permission, although I do not know if we sent anyone that was under 18. For something like that, we absolutely would require permission. 

MassNews: There is a bullet point that there is a $25 dollar stipend to attend the Young Men’s Health Project. Were the boys actually paid to attend the meeting? 

Sterling Stowell: That program did include a stipend, as I recall. 

MassNews: Could you explain the rationale behind the stipend? 

Sterling Stowell: We wanted to think of ways that would encourage youth to attend. We want them to recognize that some of the choices that they make can put them at risk. Youth will do things if there is a gift certificate or a pizza party, or a stipend. We figured, hey you get some pizza, you get a stipend, and in the course of it you get some accurate information about HIV. 

MassNews: How do you address concerns that your organization has members well over the legal age of sexual consent at 22, and also has members well below at 14? How do you alleviate a parent’s concern that their 14-year-old is going to be socially and potentially sexually involved with an adult? 

Sterling Stowell: We don’t allow any sexual activity at our events. There is no drinking, no drugs, no violence, no smoking. These things are not allowed at any of the events sponsored by BAGLY. That is put out as a clear message. So certainly people are not doing those things at BAGLY. 

We also put out the word that BAGLY is pressure free. It is not appropriate for anyone of any age to pressure someone to do something that they are not comfortable with. A young person, or a not so young person, could always come to an adult staff member if someone were pressuring them.  

It’s kind of like a high school where you have 14-year-old freshmen that are at social events with 18-year-old seniors as seniors can be 17 or 18. In a school there is not supposed to be sexual activity nor should there be pressure for that to go on. 

MassNews: Does BAGLY have an official position in terms of the age of sexual consent whether or not it should be lower? 

Sterling Stowell: We don’t have an official position. I would not argue for it to be lower, but that is me personally. 

MassNews: Do you agree that a pamphlet that advertises an event for 25-year-olds and under, offers conversations about exploring one’s sexuality, a free retreat weekend and a $25 stipend could make parents nervous? 

Sterling Stowell: I could see that, yes. 

MassNews: It also says meet with 60 other queer guys, get to know yourself and others on a much deeper level. 

Sterling Stowell: I could see how, if people don’t have the context, that that would make them nervous. I hope that my answers address that. The retreat was a separate event and our youth were not paid to attend. 

Our meetings always have adult staff present. I think the things that are discussed here are not necessarily different from those that would be discussed in a church group. It’s important to realize that when things happen that shouldn’t happen, that it could happen in other settings as well, and that it is not the setting that causes the bad thing to happen.  

The safety of our young people is the most important thing. I think it’s important, and we are also concerned that our young people are safe. We make sure that we have systems in place to make sure that they are, just as they would be in a church, or a school or a YMCA program. 

MassNews: What are those systems? 

Sterling Stowell: We screen all of the adult staff very carefully. We make sure that no one has any kind of record, and we make it real clear that there is no sexual activity between the adult staff and the youth. Everything is monitored very carefully as I would hope it is at any church or other youth program. 

MassNews: So is there a stated policy? 

Sterling Stowell: We have a stated policy that absolutely prohibits sexual contact between adult staff and the youth members. Somebody would be fired if that happened. 

MassNews: Is there a stated policy about sexual activity between your 22-year-old members and your 14-year-old members? 

Sterling Stowell: No, but the community of BAGLY would not allow that to happen without it drawing a lot of negative attention. The way BAGLY operates – with our focus on no pressure and respect for others – is to create an environment that reduces the risk of anything improper going on. There is an unwritten rule. There would be concern if that were happening. What do you do at a high school dance where there is an 18- year-old and a 14-year-old? It is just well monitored. 

While people on their own time will choose what they choose to do like any high school or college students. In the context of BAGLY programs, everything is well monitored, and we would be concerned if that were happening. If that were to go on, we would not just let that go without being concerned about it and we would take steps to address it. 

MassNews: If you suspected that there was sexual interaction between an older and younger member of the group, there would be some kind of intervention?  

Sterling Stowell: Yes. We would talk with both parties, but especially the younger, to find out "are they feeling pressured, are they feeling unsafe? And to talk to them about that." For me the way we treat the group is similar to a church group. We are not a school group at all, and we are not a social service group. We are more of a social club. But the group was founded from the beginning on safety, and there have always been policies against sex, drinking, drugs and violence at BAGLY events. The safety of our youth is our highest priority. 

We have discussed separating BAGLY into two divisions because the developmental needs are so different for the younger group. This is something we are working on. 

Nobody is pushed into doing something that they are not comfortable with. The safety of our youth is our primary concern.  

In that, I think we are all on the same side. 

For more information about BAGLY call (617) 227-4313 or visit www.bagly.org. 
 

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