For a couple of long hours, I was the woman behind the veil ... 

By Izzy Lyman
AMHERST, Marxachusetts, Nov. 11

My pal, Dr. Donna Kelley, and I had donned homemade burquas (a head-to-toe garment) to participate in a Veterans Day Tribute on the Amherst Town Common.

The disturb-the-peace peaceniks were also there. They had lined the street for their weekly “I Hate the Military” rally. They were their usual personality-challenged selves (read: “obnoxious”).

We carried a flag of Afghanistan decorated with a circle slash through it and a small entourage of friends took turns holding Old Glory and a sign bearing twin messages. “Taliban oppresses/depresses women” on one side, and “Happy Birthday, U.S. Marine Corps” on the other. It was our way of expressing “peaceful outrage” at the criminal treatment of Afghan women by the ruling Taliban, as well as honoring our armed forces. Multitasking at its finest!

By now, many of us have read the news reports about how the religious behavior of the fairer sex is monitored by the Department of the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice of the Taliban. In this extremist Islamic society, Afghan women, for instance, can receive a flogging for appearing in public without a male relative or for showing too much ankle.

So, there we were on a chilly November day, clutching bed sheets we had draped over our jeans, walking in a hunched (read: “oppressed”) manner, and vowing to exercise our right to remain silent.

The patriots who had gathered at the Town Common immediately “got” our attempts at political street theater. Many, in fact, thanked us for taking a pro-woman stance and not one of my neighbors recognized me. (Hee-hee.) Donna and I appreciated the support because it was really hard to see through the awful mesh that covered our faces, and it would have been difficult to chase a backpack snatcher with all that cloth. “Like wearing a birdcage,” as UMass English professor Arnold Silver described our getup.

Peaceniks Were Not Nice

As we hobbled past a line of the peaceniks (read: “losers”), one grungy chick (borrowing a line from the tired-liberal-cliches manual) said to me, “I see racism is still alive.” An elderly lady also had encouraging words for me: “They’re bombing people like you.”

This woman behind the burqua decided to speak. “Shut up!” I snapped at one. “Get a life!” I ordered the other.

Not very original or nice, but my mummy wrap seems to have constrained my creativity and unleashed my bad manners. Nearby, I could tell that Dr. Donna was also going at it with a fourth grade teacher. Mouthy. We became mouthy. And disheveled. My headgear was falling off, and Donna’s pant legs were brazenly showing.

We were also clamoring for answers. Why would left-wing feminists, of all genders, hassle us, I demanded of UMass graduate student Ed Cutting, who was on hand to support the troops. “You don’t honestly believe that those folks actually believe their own literature, do you?” asked Ed. “They are fascists, and thus they have no trouble being hypocrites.”

I know that, Ed. And, now, I also know why I quickly failed at impersonating a downtrodden female.

When you regularly enjoy liberty, opportunity, and adventure, acting like a victim is no piece of cake. And, yes, thanks to the selflessness of our nation’s veterans, American females, like Donna and myself, have grown accustomed to a life of liberty, opportunity and adventure. Right now, my hope for the women of Afghanistan, who are really stuck wearing the veil, is what Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has envisioned … “that Kabul be liberated and put back in the hands of responsible people.”