Are ‘Adoption Picnics’ Cruel to Children?

Are ‘Adoption Picnics’ Cruel to Children?

There was an article about an “adoption picnic” in our December issue. The writer, Mike Harris, has no connection with us. We thought his writing was interesting and refreshing. We received his article in an unsolicited email after it was written.

Susan Minichiello, the writer of the following letter, is an employee of the contracting organization that is in charge of these DSS picnics. We have no idea how closely her organization is involved with DSS, so we asked Nev Moore, President of Justice for Families, to respond to Ms. Minichiello. Obviously, she thinks they are very close. Mrs. Moore's letter is at the bottom.

Inasmuch as Ms. Minichiello will not agree with Ms. Moore, we will print the full text of any response she wishes to make. This is a crucial issue for many children.

February 2001

OPPOSING VIEW
Adoption Picnics Benefit Many Children

By Susan C. Minichiello
MARE Director of Communications

I am writing regarding Mike Harris’ article “Another ‘Picnic’ with Stolen Children,” published in the December 2000 edition of Massachusetts News.

To clarify, the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) serves as the adoption exchange for the state (not an adoption agency, as Harris states). It is a private, non-profit organization working towards the recruitment of parents for children awaiting adoption.

MARE is always open to dialogue with those who object to its practices, but it was never given the chance in this case. Harris phoned MARE and came to the event posing as a prospective adoptive parent and never voiced his objections. Not only did this violate any sense of journalistic integrity, but it also took up time from an information assistant whose purpose was to provide guidance to actual prospective parents. As MARE Director of Communications, I was available to provide information to any media representatives.

Harris’ article is obviously rooted in a personal vendetta against the Department of Social Services (DSS), not in truth. Furthermore, it is inexcusable for any supposed news organization to publish an article without checking the facts. Harris’ piece is rife with misinformation and outright lies, including inaccurate: paraphrasing of issues verbally explained to him, references to payment for children, assumptions about social workers’ levels of experience and accounts of DSS procedures.

The portrayal of children awaiting adoption as “stolen children” is horribly flawed. The children are not “stolen;” most have been removed from birth homes in which they suffered proven abuse or neglect. There are procedures for attempting to reunify children with their birth families appropriate to the severity of the abuse inflicted and the ability of birth parents to provide safe and nurturing homes. Birth parents are afforded several opportunities to present their side of the story and can appeal court decisions.

In a perfect world, we would not need adoption parties, but more than 100,000 children nationwide are in need of permanent, loving homes. Harris can allege these children’s cases have been mishandled or are unfounded. That doesn’t change the fact these children are now languishing in foster care without the security and stability of a permanent family. That is the real truth, and Harris needs to face up to it.

Is Harris going to provide families for all of these children? Of course not. Then he should not dismiss the adoption party alternative so casually. Countless professionals have spent years developing and refining such events, and his treatment of the issue disrespects these people, not to mention the families who have come together through adoption parties. Over the years, MARE has helped place more than 300 children with families who met them at parties. If these children had never attended such an event, they might never have found their families and could have “graduated” from the foster care system unwhole.

Imagine facing the world without ever knowing unconditional family love, without having the sense of belonging that only a permanent family can provide, without receiving the encouragement and self-esteem parents can instill and without the security of knowing, no matter how old you get, you can always count on your family in times of need. Exceptional people can rise above such circumstances and go on to lead productive, fulfilling lives, but the reality is, most children in this situation will not grow up to thrive as adults. They will grow up hurt, alone and unsure. From what I can gather from Harris’ article, and your publication of it, that’s exactly where you both would leave them.

Ms. Minichiello lives at 45 Franklin Street, Boston, MA.

OUR VIEW
Adoption Picnics Are Cruel

By Nev Moore
President of Justice for Families

Ms. Minichiello states that Mike Harris attended her “picnic” under false pretenses, posing as a prospective adoptive parent and “never voicing his objections.” In her opinion, this “violated journalistic integrity.”

First, Mr. Harris is not a journalist. I cannot disclose what he does without jeopardizing a very sensitive and long term investigation which involves the Attorney General’s office, to which Mike Harris’ contributions are nothing less than heroic. Second, as he is not dealing with an honest agency that possesses any integrity (DSS), it is not possible to get information in an open manner by just asking politely. Third, if he had voiced his objections, you would have retaliated by calling the police and having him removed.

How is his article “rooted in a personal vendetta and not in truth?” The fact is that millions of people across the nation are testifying to the fact that DSS is rife with corruption and is destroying real families who are innocent of any child maltreatment. This is where the children at your “picnic” are coming from. This cruel treatment of children must be reformed. Those who are speaking against this cruelty are investigative journalists, legislators, academics, ethical therapists, grand juries, former DSS and other child welfare employees, law enforcement officers - sources whose credibility and motivations are above reproach.

The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services has issued a press release that they are initiating a state-by-state in depth investigation of state child “welfare” agencies (DSS) due to the high incidence of abuse and fatalities of children in state “care.” Time magazine featured a cover story in November entitled: “The Shame of Foster Care: a Time investigation into a system in shambles.” United States Senators and Congressmen have urged the amendment of the “Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act” also known as the “Mondale Act of 1974” because it has led to too much corruption. The former director of the National Center on Child Abuse & Neglect, Douglas Besharov, resigned his position because of the corruption within child welfare agencies such as DSS and the devastating impact it has on real families. He has for years championed the cause of reform.

The U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services also tells us that, of the three million reports of child abuse each year, over two million are false, frivolous or malicious, often leading to inappropriate state intervention, including unnecessary removal of children from their homes. They also document that of the substantiated cases, 68% “do not involve child maltreatment.” Mind you, these facts come from child welfare agencies’ own statisticians - the very same federal authority that pays for your own cozy contractual relationship with DSS.

DSS Deliberately Misled the Public
After a year-long investigation, our own Post Audit & Oversight Committee issued findings which found that DSS “lied, altered documents, and deliberately misled the legislature.”

Have you ever read the report from the Governor’s Special Commission on Foster Care? So, please, let’s not talk about “integrity,” and “truth” and “facts.” My only hope is that you just don’t know any better and that you have mistakenly formed your premise because you believe the lies that DSS has fed you and your mission fulfills some do-gooder pathology that allows you to feel good about yourself.

But, then I realize that you can’t possibly not know about the federal adoption initiative, the adoption bonuses and incentives. I realize that you must hear the children who are homesick and plead to go home to their families. Lord knows we hear from them and we don’t have contact with herds of them like you do. That is based on the assumption that you actually talk to, and listen to, all the children whose lives you alter forever. You know who I mean - all those children who have no choice and no voice and whom you know what is best for. Never mind what they think and feel, right?

I like the way you use all the DSS rhetoric, the hot words like “violate,” “vendetta” and that old chestnut, “permanent, loving homes.” Do you think that black people had a “vendetta” when they started the civil rights movement after seeing their friends and family members hanging from trees? I would consider it more along the lines of a righteous and justified outrage. Any parent who has had their child kidnapped - snatched - and has had to endure their child clinging to them and hysterically begging and pleading to take them home will live with that outrage until the day they die.

You’re Dealing In Stolen Children
You state, “A little bit of research would have shown Harris the lengths to which the state goes to investigate each case and detail every account in the child’s case history. Of course the accusations must first be proved, and the birth parents are afforded several opportunities to present their side of the story and appeal court decisions.” I honestly can’t imagine that you really believe there is a grain of truth in this. Because there isn’t.

Read the Massachusetts Continuing Legal Education’s 2000-page guide to the Care and Protection law. In the majority of DSS cases there are no clear allegations. They use vague and obscure character assassination or total fabrication. The parents rarely get in the court room. When they do, they are often not allowed to speak or answer allegations. Or, the “allegations” are so vague and obscure there is no way to answer them. Or, DSS will use the tactic of delay, seeking continuance after continuance to reach the 15-month time line when they may seek termination of parental rights based on the time line. They don’t have to “prove” anything.

If you had read transcripts and had ever been involved in anything outside of your ivory tower, you would be shocked to hear court proceedings that went on for years and in which no acts of abuse or neglect were ever discussed. You would be familiar with docket sheets that showed 80, 160, 200 continuances by DSS - all while the children were, as you so correctly put it, “languishing in foster care” and their desperate families were trying to get them home. You would have heard judges tell parents: “You can file all the appeals you want, but your kids will be adopted out long before you get one.” It takes an average of two years to get an appeal due to the fact that, in the majority of cases, there is no evidence or allegation of child abuse, real neglect or maltreatment. The parents are never charged with anything, therefore they are not entitled to due process.

Is Harris going to provide homes for all these children? No. They already have homes and families. Ask them.

Ms. Moore can be reached at PO Box 141, Barnstable, MA 02630, Tel. 508-362-6921.