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Lawmakers
Get Special Father’s Day Greeting
Family rights advocates in
Midwest rally support for shared
parenting with Father’s Day Cards
Parents and family rights advocates from across the Midwest
and other parts of the country came together this week to reach out to
lawmakers to remind them of the importance of Father involvement. But
instead of writing letters and making phone calls, they’re doing something
different, by sending Father’s Day cards to Fathers in public office.
“We’re trying to send a different type of message to lawmakers”
says Michael Burns, organizer of the initiative. “We’d like to remind
them of all the special feelings that they once had when they became fathers,
and the feelings that we have in being denied such a fundamental role.”
Studies have shown that active father involvement is important
not only to the child, but to the development of parents as well. “I think
our elected officials are aware of this in the back of their mind” says
Burns. “But it seems that we’ve managed to ignore fathers in exchange
for promoting single-parenting as the accepted norm.”
“Fatherlessness is the number one predictor of crime, juvenile
delinquency, teen pregnancy, and a host of other societal issues that
cost taxpayers billions of dollars every year,” says Curt Morehouse, President
of Fathers of Nebraska, a family rights advocacy group. “Why not try a
less costly approach?” “The notion of government acting as family therapist
just isn’t cutting it. It never has, and it never will.” says Morehouse.
“Children need both parents. We just can’t top that.”
“As a country that broadly promotes the benefits of a free
and Democratic society, the United States is the world leader in fatherless
children—but not always for the reasons you might expect” says Burns,
a single parent. “Fathers as a group have been historically under-represented,
treated as second-class citizens when they can’t afford legal representation
in our family courts. Many of them are essentially turned into “instant
deadbeats” at the cost of children, parents, and the community. They become
alienated from their kids, and the system. It doesn’t take long before
they either become apathetic, or simply walk away.”
“While we promote responsible fatherhood, we're also chasing
them away with policies that can deter their involvement—and that’s not
what we want if we’re going to create sustainable communities that truly
protect children and families.”
“Our family court system has become incredibly intrusive,”
says Jan Raz, President of Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families.
“It often forces a father to fight the mother for the right to continue
to parent their child. Good fathers don't deserve this kind of treatment,
and neither do their children.” “Kids need support, but it’s more than
just financial,” says Raz, a single parent of three. “How can we honestly
expect men to act as fathers when we treat them as visitors?”
“Fathers are extraordinarily underrated and underprivileged
in this society. Putting a leash on them destroys their morale and ability
to have a close, nurturing relationship with their kids. If we want fathers
to be more actively involved, we have to do better than this.”
In Divorce
and Child Custody situations, mothers are most often awarded primary custody,
and fathers are awarded visitation and forced to pay as much as 25% of
their Net income for one child, and as much as 45% for three children
in some states, not including spousal support. Family rights advocates
argue that courts are still profoundly biased against fathers, offering
no economical rationale for imputed child support awards, while providing
no guidance on how to enforce joint custody or visitation when an ex-spouse
or partner refuses to allow the father to see his children or be actively
involved.
“Just as the last third of the 20th century was about creating
equal opportunity for women as workers, so the first third of the 21st
century will be about creating equal opportunity for men as parents. Neither
goal will be achieved until both goals are achieved,” says Dr. Warren
Farrell, former NOW President and author of the book “Father and Child
Reunion.” Does this mean that men are better at fathering than women are
at mothering? “No” says Farrell. “But we have been waging a war against
fathers—-and mothers and children are among the losers.”
“Those of us who have Dads who grew up in the Depression know
that no matter how rich our Dads became they always had a “money wound”.
Children today who grow up without Dad’s values and contributions being
in balance with Mom’s will, no matter how much love they receive, always
have a “father wound.” These children will be missing more than Dad’s
contribution. They will be missing the half of themselves that is their
Dad,” says Farrell.
“Every child comes into this world with two parents. Too often,
the state, under the banner of promoting the “best interest of the child”
takes one of those parents away,” said Donald Hubin, professor of Philosophy
at Ohio State University. “But this is usually disastrous for children.”
“Parents can't be replaced with money, and we are beginning to see the
effect of this type of policy.”
“If we want men to nurture and support their children, we
have to let them be Fathers. We have to provide a setting that would allow
for equal time and shared responsibility of their children,” says Hubin.
Family rights
advocates across the country have drawn attention recently by referring
to Supreme court decisions that have found the interest of parents in
their relationship with their children is sufficiently fundamental to
come within the finite class of liberty interests protected by the Fourteenth
Amendment. Some legal scholars believe that because a fundamental right
cannot be denied without a compelling state interest that cannot be achieved
by any less restrictive means, in the absence of abuse or neglect, parents
have a right to both legal and physical joint custody.
“If they stick it out, some fathers have to rely on second
or even third jobs, or unreported sources of income to supply for their
basic needs, in addition to paying support awards that are contrary to
other policies, such as the way Foster parents are reimbursed” says Burns.
“At present, it provides a scenario to provide one party with an extraordinary
benefit, while providing the other with an extraordinary burden, in violation
of equal protection guarantees.” “It has the potential to take fathers
away from being able to spend quality time with their kids—and creates
a potential burden on the community.”
Presently, family court judges and custodial parents can dictate
when, where, and to what extent the father may participate in the life
of his child upon divorce or separation, even if there has been no finding
that the parent would pose an immediate threat to the child.
“I can’t think of one elected official who would ever stand
for such a scenario if it were imposed on them” says Burns. I think the
signal it sends to parents is: “If you don’t have the money—stay away
from your kids.” “What’s good for the custodial parent is good for the
child,” and “we don’t need fathers--we just want your money.”
“Frequently the legal community uses the term “Best Interest
of the Child” to gloss over Constitutional mandates” says Stephen Martyak,
an attorney with the Center for Liberty and Privacy located in Jupiter,
Florida. “The Best Interests clause is actually a legal standard placing
complete strangers [our trial court Judges], and the state, above the
discretion of fit parents. It’s only proper use is after parental rights
have been legally terminated, and should not appear in statutes or rulings
unless such rights are first terminated, according to Federal law,” says
Martyak. “Strict scrutiny” is the standard that must be applied in removal
of parental rights, in situations where a parent would pose an immediate
harm to the child—yet our state courts routinely violate this law by awarding
one parent sole custody.”
“While this
right to parent is perhaps the most important and fundamental right we
have, it is also the most trampled on. Just because the parents split-up
doesn't mean that they or their children should be treated as second class
citizens,” says Martyak. “It's not uncommon to find two parents who’ve
been caught up in the family court system for 10 years or more. The level
of intrusion brought by our courts is simply appalling.”
“Our public policy towards fathers and children has become
a national travesty,” says Burns. “It’s truly an abomination.” “Children
need financial support, but they also need their father’s influence and
involvement. This is an indispensable asset to our culture, and we’re
just not supporting fathers the way we should be. Fatherhood shouldn’t
be for the rich only.”
States such as Illinois rank 48 out of 50 in child support
collection and enforcement. “If we rank this low, what does that say about
father involvement?” Recently the Chicago Crime Commission estimated that
as many as 18-20,000 youths are involved in gang-related activity in Chicago
alone. “That’s a staggering number,” says Burns. “Should we assume that
they just walked away—or did our system threaten and intimidate them into
becoming absent?” “What kind of example does this create for our children?”
“There is a day soon approaching when our society will look
back in wonder why we ever promoted any custody arrangement founded on
a premise other than a rebuttable presumption of shared parenting” says
Mike McCormick, Executive Director for American Coalition of Fathers and
Children (ACFC), a national advocacy group comprised of over 40,000 members
located in Washington, DC. “If the past thirty years have taught us nothing
else—we have come to learn the broad social experiment of sole parent
child-rearing has failed.”
“How many parents can afford to cough-up tens of thousands
of dollars in legal fees to fight a battle that leaves no winners? Fathers
often times have difficulty competing. They become broke and then pushed
aside. How is that good for us?” says Burns. “We need a public policy
that gets separating parents, judges, lawyers, and mental health professionals
to actively work together as a team; to come together to create a strategy
for the benefit of children—not to allow for drawn-out conflicts to prevail”
says Burns. “Parents need a plan. Why not give them the incentive to work
together, to share in the responsibilities of parenting first, rather
than reward those who engage in battle, or make it something that you
must fight for?”
“We spend so much time and money trying to place a Band-Aid over so many societal issues related to fatherless children.”
“Why not try to bring fathers back into the picture?”
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