Mothers of Troops From Townsend Provide Aid And Comfort By Geraldine Hawkins April 15, 2003

Military Moms were out in force to support the troops. (L to R) Mary Santoro, Kathy Langone and Laureen Sullivan are three of Townsend's Military Mom's showing support for 'their boys.'

One of the positive side effects of a national crisis is that it brings people together. This truism has kept the mothers of servicemen from Townsend from being overwhelmed with worry for the safety of their sons.

Townsend resident Nancy Lee, whose son Sgt. David Lee, USMC, is in Iraq, knew that she could help and be helped by forming a support group for military mothers.

"I had a lot of support from my family and friends and from my church family, but I thought this might be needed, because not everyone goes to church or has someone to talk to. I knew that it would be good for me too, and that I would make some more friends," Nancy tells MassNews.

"We are all such a support for each other," Kathy Langone, whose son Andrew, 21, is a specialist in Army intelligence, tells MassNews. "We have fear for the safety of our sons, and just their living conditions. As moms, we think about these things.

"I can't begin to tell you how important the group is to me," Langone says. "We're a small town, only about 10,000 people. Through the group, we write to our sons and tell them how their other friends are doing."

The group meets Monday evenings in the Townsend Congregational Church. Initially, the group met bi-weekly in late February, but recently the women have felt the need to meet every week.

"I asked the pastor of our church and our trustees and they said we could have a room there," says Nancy Lee. "The Catholic Church offered us a room, too."

Linda Rourke, a proud Army Mom (Right), holds her freedom sign at the rally on Saturday, April 12.

The members are about evenly divided between parishioners at Townsend Congregational and St. John's Catholic Church. "Our motto is: 'No News is Good News,'" Langone says. "None of us want to have that car drive up and have someone in uniform step out. They have eight hours to inform you if something happens. We call each other during the week and help each other to maintain a normal day. We are there for each other. There is genuine empathy, because no one can understand a mother's feelings except another mother." What the soldiers need most these days are care packages, she says. The Camaraderie Helps the Burden Mary Santoro is the mother of Matthew Santoro, corporal in the Second Marine Expeditionary Brigade, Second Battalion, Eighth Marines. The idea for the mothers' group was born one day when Nancy Lee called Mary and they both had lighter hearts afterward.

"We realized how much good it did both of us to speak to each other," Santoro tells MassNews. "I knew exactly what she was talking about. We knew that this was a pretty good thing and we should share it with other people."

Santoro and Lee placed announcements in local church bulletins in Townsend and did not stress that the group was for mothers, but rather "family members."

The first meeting was "great," Santoro says. "We had a great time."

When the United States finally moved into Iraq, Mary Santoro was watching nearly every news broadcast, since one of the "embedded reporters" is with her son's unit.

"I feel like it's my connection with him. There were days when I sat here and cried all day because they were right in the thick of things. There were nights when I went through 'til midnight and thought: 'I guess I'm safe. No one knocked at my door.'" "Mary is glued to the television," says Kathy Langone. "I am the opposite of Mary. I cannot watch the television and see footage of kids who have been injured or killed. Everyone copes differently. Mary and I are the extremes. If I want to know the highlights, I can call Mary." Press Has Been Helpful Mary Santoro is grateful for the role the press has played in Iraq. "I think it was great to have them," she says. "There were several times when they had an injured solider on, but I'm sure his family was informed beforehand. They did the government justice by being there." Kathy Langone has a slightly different take on the situation.

Yellow ribbons are making a comeback. In Townsend, a town of 9,000 people, many young men and woman are serving in Kosovo, Afghanastan, Iraq, Kuwait, Guantanamo Bay and in stateside support operations.

"It depends," she says. "Geraldo Rivera and Peter Arnett - it's good that they're gone! Some of the reporters are living the conditions, though. They see children being held up as human shields, so they can't say that this is something the Army made up.

"One reporter got his microphone in the face of a Marine and asked how he felt when he saw the bodies of two little girls. The Marine said it would haunt him for the rest of his life, and of course it will. The military has to make split decisions. Sometimes reporters cross the line.

"A reporter from FOX 25 asked me if seeing the fighting on television gave me a 'reality check.' 'Reality check'? My reality is that my son is not here, he is not in his bed and I want him to get home safely. I think [the reporter] was trying to get me to cry.

Military Moms (L to R) Michelle Enright, Kathy Langone, Mary Santoro and Linda Rourke sat for an interview with Fox 25 News on Saturday, April 7th.

Nancy Lee says that when the war first started, she was watching television constantly. "Then I got panicked, and thought, 'I don't need to know that much.'" Lee thinks it was "a neat idea" to give newsmen such close proximity to the fighting. "I don't think people realize how awful war is and how strong you have to be. It's harder on the reporters because they're not trained," Lee says, citing the late David Bloom as an example. "Journalists are really in danger, because you don't have to be in great shape to be a journalist!"

As for protestors, "I won't even give them the courtesy of acknowledging them," says Kathy Langone. "That is their right, but I don't care about that. Just support the troops! I am so proud of Andrew."

"I think they have the right, but 90 percent of them don't know what they're talking about," says Mary Santoro. "It's just the latest college rage. I'd much rather see 'Support the Troops' rallies. God knows the boys don't want to see just protests. I'm sure that if this were summer, you would see a lot fewer protests, because college wouldn't be in session!"

Nancy Lee tells MassNews: "In the '60s, I would have been one of them, because we thought the Vietnam War was bad. After that, I had a few friends who actually were in Vietnam and realized how hard it must have been for them to come home to so little support.

"I was driving with a friend outside of Harvard a few days ago and saw a crowd carrying signs at the corner of Brattle Street and Memorial Drive and I said, 'Can you believe these protesters?' But then it turned out to be a rally supporting the troops! It was put on by two players for the New England Patriots, and there seemed to be a lot of students there." Nancy says that her son David is "a great guy," and that his family was shocked when he joined the Marine Corps. "He is a talented musician - he plays the piano, trombone and drums. He went into the Marines because he wanted to try something entirely different, and this certainly is it! He blew our minds! When he is home, he'll play the piano at church, and at Christmas for the local senior center. But he wanted something different, because he was so immersed in music.

Everybody is getting into the act when it comes to supporting the troops.

"David chose the Marines because they have the most severe training and they can handle almost anything. He's matured a lot. This is the first time I haven't talked to him on his birthday, which is hard, but I know that he would be totally disappointed if he weren't right in the thick of things."

Sgt. David Lee has two older sisters, one of whom is married and has a baby 17-months-old and another baby on the way. His other sister has a Masters' degree in journalism. Both of them have been worried about him, because he's the baby, says their mother.

Corporal Matthew Santoro has three brothers: Michael, 19, Luke, 15, and Mark, 4. When MassNews remarked that these are all Biblical names, their mother replied: "I didn't plan it that way!"

A Lot of Prayer

The gazebo on the Townsend Common was where two hundred and fifty townspeople gathered for Townsend's 'Support the Troops" rally on Saturday, April 12.

Andrew Langone has a sister, Katie, who is a student at UMass/Amherst and misses her brother a great deal. "We all pray a lot, especially Katie," says their mother. "Not only for Andrew, but for his unit and for all of the military. Seeing houses with American flags and yellow ribbons is such a boost to my morale. I always tell Andrew, 'Despite what you're hearing about the anti-war demonstrations, there are more people who totally support the troops." Langone tells MassNews that what the soldiers need most these days are care packages. High on the list of needs are baby wipes (the soldiers are in a perpetual sandstorm and have to clean their weapons and masks every day"), chapstick, black wool socks, batteries, sunscreen, moisturizing lotion, Vizene, toothpaste, toothbrushes, beef jerky, powdered Gatorade, duct tape, pretzels and potato chips in canisters and peanut butter and crackers. "I even sent him a plastic American flag," says Kathy.

Andrew left home Feb. 10. "We had a send-off and open house," says his mother. "Andrew has tons of family behind him. I feel for those who don't get a lot of mail. Andrew's kindergarten teacher put together a box; so did one of his high school teachers. But it's important not to include anything that would be contrary to the Islamic religion, because you wouldn't want a Kuwaiti official to see it. Even the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is considered pornography over there. Of course, no alcohol or pork products."

It is uncomfortably hot for the boys. "It is 105 degrees during the day and 119 in the tent. Sixty guys sleep in the tent," says Kathy. "They've all got to stay hydrated. Wearing the uniform carries another 15 degrees."

Nancy Lee says that the most recent time David wrote was on March 19, the day the war started. They spoke to him March 13.

"David called at three o'clock in the morning. He said that he had driven for two hours and waited in line for three, in order to make a five-minute phone call. I told him, 'I don't care what time you call!' That was in Kuwait, I believe, but who knows, really? He can't really say where he is."

David left Camp Lejeune on an amphibious cruiser that went through the Suez Canal, of which David got a scenic view from the bridge.

"He said he was glad to be an American, because it didn't look like they lived too well," says Nancy.

All three women say that they hope their sons have seen the footage of the demolition of the statue of Saddam Hussein, and they all have high hopes for the Iraqi people.

"Maybe they well see the good side of the Americans, and that we're not such monsters," says Nancy.